Louise is a poet, apparently. She can’t afford the rent in Glebe so she makes do with getting drunk with the old guys there who can’t afford it either. For a lazy person who doesn’t like working, she’s had a lot of jobs: retail assistant, barista, cake decorator, ice-cream scooper, receptionist, administrator, copywriter, kumara fry fryer, spam sender, tutor. She’s doing a PhD mainly because it gets people off her back when they ask about her career. Ask any ex boyfriend about her and watch their poker face melt to the floor. Apart from sex she enjoys food and music. She would like to choreograph dance sequences for music videos. She’s travelled the world mainly so she can say she didn’t squander her youth. Cats make her happy, much happier than children. The best way to annoy her is to claim you have all the answers and allow arrogance to curb your capacity for learning. She changes her hair because it’s boring to always be the same person. One day soon she will publish a book, which she will take with her everywhere as proof of something – she’s not sure what. She thinks about death a lot. If you meet her, buy her a drink.